Independence Two Ways: For Children and Seniors
Independence for Young Children
by Kristy Adams
Within the Montessori framework, independence is not simply about doing things alone—it is about giving children the tools, skills, and encouragement they need to navigate the world around them confidently. By supporting independence, parents help their children grow into capable, self-sufficient individuals who can think critically, manage their emotions, and approach challenges with a sense of autonomy.
The journey toward independence begins at a very early age. For children in the 0–3 age range, opportunities for autonomy start small and gradually increase in complexity as they grow. Each step provides children with invaluable practice and confidence, laying the foundation for a lifetime of resilience and self-reliance.
Everyday Opportunities can include:
Self-Care Tasks such as feeding themselves - even if it’s messy at first, children benefit from the chance to use child-sized utensils, plates, and cups.
Dressing themselves - While they may not yet dress fully on their own, children can participate by putting on shoes, pulling up pants, or choosing between simple, manageable clothing such as elastic waistbands and Velcro shoes.
Hygiene tasks, such as washing hands, wiping their face, or brushing teeth, can be supported by providing child-friendly toiletries and tools.
Movement and Exploration opportunities allow children to develop both physically and emotionally when they are given the freedom to climb, move, and explore. By creating a safe environment where children can discover new textures, objects, and spaces without constant adult intervention, parents enable them to build confidence in their own abilities and develop their gross motor skills.
Giving children the ability to make choices helps them feel a sense of control over their lives. At this stage, parents can provide simple, limited options—such as choosing between two outfits or two snacks. Small problem-solving moments, like stacking blocks or figuring out a toy, encourage critical thinking and foster independence.
Independence is crucial to your child’s development because it:
Builds Self-Confidence: Each accomplishment, no matter how small, gives children a sense of mastery that fuels their desire to keep learning and trying new things.
Fosters a Love of Learning: Independence allows children to explore the world at their own pace, promoting curiosity and self-directed learning, which are at the heart of the Montessori approach.
Develops Problem-Solving Skills: By experimenting and solving challenges independently, children build the critical thinking skills they will need throughout life.
Promotes Emotional Regulation: Taking ownership of small tasks helps children learn to manage both successes and setbacks, strengthening emotional resilience.
Encourages Responsibility: Early independence nurtures care for self, others, and the environment, laying the groundwork for accountability and respect.
Supporting independence in the first three years is one of the greatest gifts parents can offer their children. Through small, intentional opportunities, children not only gain practical life skills but also develop the confidence, resilience, and curiosity they will carry with them for years to come.
Independence for Seniors
by Becky Costigan
When we hear the name “Montessori,” we often think of educational programs for children; however, the teachings of Montessori are relevant across the entire lifespan. In the practice of Montessori for Aging and Dementia, maintaining independence is a key component.
Independence and choice refer to the idea that individuals have the ability to make decisions based on their interests and capabilities. Montessori for Aging and Dementia focuses on empowering elders to make their own choices rather than simply instructing them on what to do. When working with an individual with dementia, we have the obligation to help set them up for success by providing options that are within their current abilities. Independence reinforces dignity. In Montessori, we focus on what the senior can do, rather than what they can’t do, celebrating their strengths and abilities.
Independence does not mean doing something alone. We can scaffold tasks and collaborate with individuals to support them in doing as much as possible for themselves. This empowerment and success in the choices they have made then foster further independence and enhance their sense of autonomy in their own lives. Everyone wants to have autonomy and choice over their own life. Tasks can be as simple as deciding what to wear that day, setting the table, or watering plants. These jobs may seem small, but they are a constant reminder that they can do for themselves. We observe that even in the presence of cognitive decline, people still wish to maintain control over their own lives.
Our role when working with seniors is to be a collaborative partner. We must do our best to guide them to the most successful outcome. We need to be keen observers to see what is working and what needs to be modified. It is essential to remember that when a task does not go well, it is not a failure. It serves as a jumping-off point for us to learn what works and what needs to be adjusted. Humans are all different and respond to situations differently on different days. This is when leaning into our observation and modification skills to change and modify is so essential.
Montessori for Aging and Dementia is giving people back agency over their own lives. This method reminds us that, regardless of our age or cognitive abilities, we are truly happiest when empowered to make choices and maintain our independence.
